When our children listen…a sigh of relief

My wonderful daughter who at the age of 18 is at the age of feeling invincible, told me this morning that she hadn’t believe there would be bad influenza “because it wasn’t on the news”. I didn’t believe my parents at that age either. It’s par for the course.

Autonomy—we want them to form it but we want instant wisdom as part of the package. Short of that we are left parroting: wear your seatbelt….don’t let someone who has been drinking get behind the wheel of a car…study hard in school…If you don’t do ___, this will happen…..we tell them and pray that they listen to us because we love them.

I have told my daughter that at some point influenza will be a life and death issue for too many of us. For some of us, it already is. We are experiencing a “bad flu season”. And yet, this is not a pandemic—that still may come at some still unknown time. Pandemics happen.

I saw the fear in her eyes for the first time and I know that she now knows what I am saying with my heart. We need to be prepared. I am so thankful that she has heard me and understands the danger. She is spreading the word among her peers and co-workers. This is what it takes for all of us to become better prepared. We must talk to each other, heart to heart.

I will tell her too that her fear will pick up but also that she will adjust to this and that fear is actually a really good thing. It will be a tool that we can use. Without the fear, we won’t remember the things that we need to do. Drunk drivers scare me too. Flu is a killer, influenza is an enemy that we must fight. We should use our fear to help us reduce our exposure while we go about our lives.

My husband came home ill last night, I actually found myself holding my breath when I was within 6 feet of him, at least until I heard out his symptoms. I am reasonably sure that his symptoms were related to a stomach problem. But lying in bed I found myself thinking—what if? How should we arrange where we sleep in order to not infect each other before symptoms appear? Questions that we all must answer for ourselves and our family. There are plenty of flu forums like fluwiki2 and Plan for Pandemic, where discussions like this take place—there really is a lot of good information to be had—and the company that we keep while learning is wonderful.

For me, I have to picture the viruses as little bugs on the surfaces of things—and picture them getting rides on my hands, etc. to other objects I touch. I am a visual, hands-on learner. I realize, that in order to survive, I have to become a fanatic about germs. It has become the sensible and absolutely healthy thing to do. So I am going to make a deliberate effort over the next few weeks to concentrate on how my contacts with others may have an effect on the spread of influenza. I will share what I learn with my family. 

As for my husband, I am reasonably sure, is not suffering from flu symptoms. I have been listening to who he tells me called out of work and why they called out. Last night, I monitored his temperature and I kept giving him fluids — thanks to Mike’s reminder about rehydration—. He was feeling better today and went off to work. Had he not been well, I would have encouraged (insisted—sat on him if I had to) that he stay home. With his new awareness of viruses and what they can do, I really do believe that he would have stayed home without a fuss from me. His employees are now more flu aware too and are following the wisdom of staying home when ill.

And no one is milking it….good for them!